What is true love? What is this happily ever after that these characters seem to get?
All I’ve known is heart ache. Happily ever after has a fucking shelf life.
It’s about 2 – 3 years max. Then they walk out of your life never to return.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Disney lied.
Am I bitter? No, not really. I’m just venting. Because we grow up with this expectation that there is some soul mate out there waiting for us, to fulfil our needs, our wants, our inner most desires.
What they forget to mention is that all that? Up there ^^ That’s all dependant on you. No one person can do all these things. They can’t be all the things. They can tick a lot of boxes, but not 100% of them. And it’s not fair that we expect them to. Because those boxes change. They shift. It’s like moving goal posts. Plus not everyone is going to be into what you are! They will have other things that they want and that’s ok, that’s why I think monogamy is such a bad bad base for a long term relationship. To start with? Sure. I think it works really well because it gives you that time to work on your relationship, build your foundations… make sure you’re solid before you open anything up to anyone else.
There is no one person in the wide world that can fulfil your every single wish or desire. It’s a pipe dream. It’s putting expectations on your future partners that will spell the beginning of the end. I believe that we get relationships that help us along on our journey. We meet people who compliment a period in our lives that fits with theirs. We join our roads for a brief period before our crossroads and we turn in different directions.
Does that make any of those relationships unworthy of our time? Are they really below our notice?
No they aren’t. They taught us something. They all teach us something. Maybe one day I’ll start listening to the bitch that’s in my head screaming at me to stop wasting my time on people who aren’t really interested in me to try to fulfil my daddy issues.
Maybe I’m never meant to have a happily ever after?
I am currently watching a friends relationship with some envy. And a lot of love for both of them. I’m honoured that they share their love so freely, that I can watch their day-to-day interactions on social media and it warms my heart. That they are so in love. And have been for years now. Their relationship is the light that makes me smile out from behind my cynicism.
It tries to give me hope, which I can’t accept.
They are so perfect together.
I’m just not so sure that it’s anywhere in my future. And that’s ok, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably end up as the mad cat woman.
Once upon a time I thought I would fall madly in love. Get married. Have a house with a white picket fence out the front, a wicked dungeon in the basement, a suspension point above the bed and my love to torture me endlessly with a bit of me & them torturing others. And loads of dogs and cats and pets. Possibly some chickens. A beautiful herb garden and a huge block of land so that no neighbours could complain about the screams…