Dating,  General,  Personal

The juxtaposition that is man…What?

I’ve had this discussion with a few friends, lately it was over free food and wine at a Yelp Elite Event – I met a lovely lass who had gotten back from America not long after I had and were were contemplating the differences in our experiences with men.

Oh hello Mr Fur Beastie, I want your jumper. And you. Why don’t you wear it over?

You see, when I was in America last for the entire month I was there, I didn’t have a night that I didn’t have a date. What? Yup, that’s right. I had a date every single night when I was over there.

The last time I had a date in Australia? Oh. Possibly about 2.5 years ago. It was an utter failure. He was vegan. I love meat. He got upset that I ate meat. I didn’t order any for our dinner though because I’m a thoughtful person like that. He tried to lecture me about global warming and I lost it. I started trolling him. It was politely at first. About how all animal farms now use humane ways to kill their animals for eating purposes. That leather is a really handy material for things. Like whips. I don’t think he believed me when I said it was for whips, he just looked at me funny. But could you imagine a single tail that’s made of pleather? Like seriously? How the fuck is that even meant to hurt? Or how is one even meant to savour the oncoming onslaught of pain, shock, noise… without that sweet sweet smell of well oiled and used leather? And we all know what a scent whore I am.

He got visibly discombobulated when I told him that global warming is a myth after his lecture to me about how I should know that we won’t have a planet in a few years.

Do I honestly think it’s a myth? Nah, I don’t, I think we’re having some kind of impact… what that will mean is a bit unclear as the earth has had so many cycles from ice ages to no polar caps. I, on the other hand, was not going to give him the satisfaction of the truth as I know it – oh no. Then I went on to say how I believe that all natural disasters was the Earth’s way of taking care of overpopulation. His eye twitched. I kid you not. I was quite happy needling him until he looked like he was going to implode. By the time I was finished he literally ran out of the restaurant and I thankfully never heard from him again. And me? I literally skipped home whistling.

Which brings me to the whole point of this blog entry.

Why are Australian men so touched when it comes to asking a woman out on a date? We figured it was a confidence thing, or maybe it was because they didn’t like chasing. Men from America & Europe all loved the chase. It was like a dance. You’d start off saying maybe… you’d end up saying yes and even if you ended up saying no they didn’t walk off in a huff. They hung around and just chatted to you because they actually wanted to talk to you. Imagine that, a guy that just wants to talk and doesn’t call you a slut for not being interested in him enough to go home with him.

I think it’s why I find the dating scene in Australia so lacking. And possibly why my sexual exile has been an easy choice to make.

But I think the dating scene in Australia has a lot to learn from other countries. Will it happen? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m looking forward to being back in the States and on the dating ball again. I had so much fun the last time.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep waiting for that bloody hitachi to arrive in the mail.


  • TK

    Well… I suppose it’s nice to see Americans are doing one thing right (I’m American so I’m allowed to be critical of my own country, right?).

    P.S. If I had a date with someone that… I’m going to to with snotty… I would work hard to piss him off too. It actually sounds like a lovely date to me. You did say you walked home with a smile on your face.

    • Spankalicious

      Yes, you are doing something right! Definitely agree with that 🙂

      I’m glad it’s not just me. I hate being talked down to like I have no brain. I’ve done a geology & geophysics major. I talked back down to him with science.

      It made an unbearable date, bearable!

  • Mr Peeved

    Definitly agree we have a lot to learn from other countries. Western Europeans are very inclusive and developed people who’s maturity towards life far exceeds Australians. I find european women know how to handle men and can sexually reject them yet still remain friends. Australians are friendly on the surface but are peer groupish and shallow. I know many europeans who cannot make significant Australian friends. They say women here are too agressive and men are uncultured and uncouth. I tend to agree. Put that in a dating mix and it spells disaster. European women can judge men against humanistic values, where most aussie women judge in terms of alpha/beta, on their height, whether they are good enough for them, the size of their wallet etc. Aussie men judge women in terms of promiscuity and at the same time how likely they will put out for HIM (go figure). If a girl says no, it is unlikely they will be, or stay friends, so maybe that is why men get aggressive, they see the bridge already burnt. Perhaps they only want to go after the sure thing. Don’t know about Americans.

    • Spankalicious

      Wouldn’t know about Western Europeans.

      Peer groupish & shallow? Not sure I agree with that. I think it’s all ego driven and has nothing to do with peer group or shallowness.

      I don’t think I agree with the women are aggressive here nonsense either. Sure there are some that are, but you have some that are all over the world. I’m not aggressive in the least.

      To say that people don’t have things that sexually attracts them to the opposite sex is silly. Which is where the height, etc comes into it. I like tall men. Always have, always will. That has no reference on what their wallet size is or what their waist size is. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. Some of my friends prefer men to have a belly, some don’t.. I love a man with good facial fur as well. I also expect them to have an IQ of over 100 and be able to hold a conversation with me about a lot of topics. Be kind to animals and love nature. I expect him to be human and care about things that need caring about. As opposed to where his next fuck is going to come from.

      All I know is that Australian men have it ass end backwards. And I am starting to prefer American over Australian if only because of all this.

  • Mr Peeved

    I was only speaking in general terms, certainly not referring to your good self or to every single person. : ) My experience living overseas for 4 years is in stark contrast to Australia, just as your experience in the U.S. is. and my views on aggressiveness come from foreign as well as Australian women. Certainly nothing wrong with preferring American men!

  • Aussa Lorens

    Hahaha oh he sounds like a Class A Douchenozzle. What a trip. He probably irons his underwear. Totally reminds me of that Katy Perry song “you’re so gay.” I love that you trolled your date, absolutely love it. I’ve only done that once and it was just by talking about myself because the guy was so incredibly vanilla I just couldn’t help frightening him. Needless to say he never called again.
    I hadn’t ever heard anything about Australian guys being different in that way… interesting.

    • Spankalicious

      Oh Aussa, you has nooooooo idea. I gave the edited version of his stupidity! It was soooo painful!

      I didn’t even get into the kink stuff with him! He was turning a deep beetroot by the time I got to tsunami’s wiping out homelessness and I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. He didn’t. Mores the pity. Would have livened up dinner.

      Usually I’m the epitome of a polite and great date. I know how to make conversation and how to keep the other party engaged. I am sure I was a geisha in a previous life.

      Hehehehe I love that you trolled too. I am not the only one trolling! YAY!

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