I was in a relationship that was killing me slowly from the inside out because for whatever reason he was staying with me wasn’t for the right reasons so I developed some interesting baggage in the form of self-doubt and diminished self-confidence. However I somehow finally got enough confidence together to put an end to the stupid charade. I’m still recovering this as we speak.
My self-imposed ban on not having random encounters with strangers has been going really well and I’m finding that I’m actually enjoying being able to withhold my sexuality a bit. This hasn’t meant that I’ve stopped flirting outrageously. My no wanking policy has, well.. it kinda failed last night but in my defence I was egged on by Loki on the phone and he kept sending me pictures and video’s and my self-control disappeared. But till that point I’d lasted a whole week!! A WEEK! So back on the bandwagon again from today. He won’t beat me damnit.
The joy of 2013 was that my sister had her baby. My niece. She’s the most beautiful-est little bundle of joy ever. The love of my life! Who knew that such a little thing could create so many strong emotions? We’ve been through ups and downs with her, her birth and the subsequent days after my sister got very ill to the point that she was on morphine and couldn’t breast feed. This meant that I was attaching bubs to her breast when she was hungry and doing everything else in the mean time until my sister got back on her feet. In the last month bubs got sick with baby bronchitis and as luck would have it my sister’s husband was away on a business trip in the States so we both rushed her to the hospital and stayed there for 3 days while the doctors had her on a drip with oxygen to make sure she was getting enough fluids while the poor thing coughed and wouldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time. She’s back to being the bubbly little smiley faced angel (well, not so much angel at bedtime) as always. So whichever god was looking out for her thank you. And thank you for the doctors who rushed to that poor little baby’s side when she stopped breathing in the next cot from the same illness and resuscitated her. It was hellish to watch and made me all the more thankful.
The Sydney Rope Festival went off without a hitch, I learnt so much from so many different riggers from around the world and that as a family we can and do band together to make awesome things happen. I can’t wait for the next one.
I decided where I would rather be spending the next few years of my life and am actively trying to make this happen. As hard as it has been, I’m persevering instead of taking the easy option. Because there is an easy option, but I’m not sure I’d be happy just getting married for a visa. I always thought I’d do it for love. So I’m going to stick with that.
I’ve cut out toxic people from my life. With the rest of my friends & family I’ve realised that we all have our problems and as much as I enjoy my agoraphobic tendencies sometimes I need to remember that it’s not just about me but other’s too. So next year is going to be about new places, new people, breaking out and hanging out. I really hope this job comes through.
I am getting into the paleo diet because it’s stabilising my hormones and everything else that has gone wrong with my insides for which the doctors all told me there was nothing they could do. It’s been amazing and hard work. I fell off the bandwagon after I broke up with my ex but I’m slowly getting back on it. My naturopath is a miracle worker.
I’ve let my mother back in a bit. She’s actively seeking me out and asking me more personal questions than she ever has before. I’m conscious of this, I do appreciate it and I somehow think it’s her way of trying to make up for being such a bitch in her earlier life. I feel bad that she’s all alone living in a huge house that she refuses to sell.
All in all I think I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a new sexy bike that makes me all kinds of happy. I have got out and exercising more which has also helped with my moods. The cooler mornings during summer are so beautiful that I can not not be awake and outside for them.
So with all that, here’s to hoping that 2014 is just bigger and better.
On that note, have a happy and safe new year y’all. I can’t wait to spend the next year reading you guys <3
Here’s some more pictures from what our NYE looks like on the Harbour… I love Sydney sometimes.