Feminism,  General,  Personal

Meet my Fuck-Off Fairy… Hullo!

I read this article online over the weekend and it resonated with me a lot.

I think because I used to be the person that didn’t say no to anything and ended up saying yes to everything. Then I found in my early 30’s that I no longer was saying yes to things that I didn’t want to do, or give permission for.

“The Fuck-Off Fairy is a special kind of fairy. She shows up on the night of your 30th birthday, while you are sleeping, and waves a magic wand over you.” Article can be found here.

click image to go to source
No seriously, fuck off. (Click pic for source)

The article is actually in regards to fat shaming and one woman’s account of how her fuck off fairy helped her.

I’d like to say that my fuck off fairy has developed into an everyday fuck off fairy. She has helped me to say fuck off to things that I wouldn’t have dreamed of saying no to in my 20’s. She’s given me the confidence and the self-awareness to know that I don’t have to say yes to everything.

She’s helped me learn that the world will not stop spinning if I don’t do what’s being asked of me. And believe it or not, I actually feel a bit empowered when I can stand up and disagree. Or say no.

For someone who was a constant yes girl this is a huge huge thing.

I also think it comes down to the fact that I just don’t have the tolerance for people and their stupidity like I once used to. I mean, I’m in my mid 30’s. I don’t have the time or want to put in the effort required to explain to said stupid people how they are being stupid and what they might want to look at in changing their behaviours. It’s just not my problem.

I’ve started to say no to things like people asking to borrow my things. Like my shiny new red push bike, someone asked to borrow that. I said no. That thing cost me $400 – unless people are happy to pay me for the bike itself if something happens then I’m not going to start lending it out.  Thank you fuck off fairy.

I say no to people borrowing my books and dvd’s. Because I never get them back and I’m still replacing missing titles in my sets of books & dvd’s. I find this annoying. So I’ve stopped doing it.

I think my 30’s are more about me than anyone else and for the first time in my life I’m actually enjoying it. I see my friends when I want to see them. We do things, we go out, we go bike riding, we go to movies and get lost in the Australian bush. I think it’s just a subtle shift in me that’s changed my whole outlook of my life and where I want it to go.

I am back at University full-time this year, as well as working full-time. I’ve decided that I really want to be working in the field I’m studying and not sitting at work being bored because I haven’t got enough things to do. I figure I can spend the time studying because that’s useful way of spending my day. And I have about a year left of studying to finish my degree. Then I can apply for jobs where I want and actually get one. This is my major motivating factor.

But most of all, I think the fuck off fairy has eclipsed just the ability for me to tell people to sod off, what she’s done is open my eyes to a whole new reality of myself and how I interact and view myself.

So do you have a fuck off fairy? What things has yours helped you do?


  • wholelottarosiee

    I unleashed my inner fuck-off fairy today! I told Mummys Boys to take a running leap after he likened me having an eating disorder to him being hungover. Asshole. Turns out, I didn’t have to be a bitch about it at all! I win! Although, it was extremely hard to resist the urge of telling him every single little mistake he made with me on that last date. I can only imagine that he’s going to make those very same mistakes again and I imagine the next girl isn’t going to tell him where to improve either. Maybe if he hadn’t been such an ASSHOLE earlier, I would have let him down gently and told him where to improve.

    Asshole, asshole, ASSHOLE! xx

    • Sharn

      Oh I giggled, so giggle worthy!!

      I’m so glad you told him to sod off!! Without having to tell him he is a snivelling mummy’s boy that is! Well done you!

      I can’t believe he compared his hang over to an eating disorder. What the fuck is wrong with some people?!

      I’m so glad you kicked him to the curb. Not only was he giving me zombie nightmares, I’m sure he would have given you more if you’d gone there.

      No seriously.

      I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. He turned zombie and was trying to break down my door. He might have been a smidge more attractive as a zombie. It didn’t stop me from putting an axe through his head though.

      Just goes to show.


      • wholelottarosiee

        Hahahaha! At least he only haunted your dreams! He’s still haunting my mouth. My face. And my chin.

        He’s not giving up though. I’m going to go as far as to say that its not often he makes it to a second date, and if he does, he must take all of them to meet his mother!

        I realised something today. I look back at my past dalliances, excluding Slim, I actually think he’s beautiful (EURGH, GET A GRIP), and realise that I go for people that I’m not entirely that attracted to because it makes it less painful when they let me down.

        I really ought to give myself more credit xx

  • bethteliho

    I do have a loud-ass fuck off fairy! I was a TOTAL people pleaser in my 20’s and early 30’s. Honestly I think having kids, and the fatigue and bullshit that comes with life stresses just finally beat me down to the point that I finally learned NO. Fucking NO. Now my hubs jokes that I’m too mean in some situations. haha. Oh well.

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