Being nommed! Red carpet time…

I would say I’d love to walk down the red carpet in some hot little number with heels that made me want to spend my time lying in-front of a mirror with my legs in the air… however last time I walked down anything resembling an aisle was for my sister’s wedding and I was wearing some awesome heels which got caught in the grass and I stumbled, nearly face-planted… righted myself while giggling and proceeded to walk down the aisle snickering like a little school girl. Elegance. I got it.

So let’s just pretend I’m walking down the red carpet, in to lust after heels and I don’t fall and I meet up with the lovely lass from over at Cellulitelooksbetterthantan who nominated me for an award – as well as Meme & JohnnyID! Horray!


So the rules are as follows:

#1: Post the award on your blog – tick. Can I have a trophy too?

#2: Thank the blogger who presented this award and link back to their blog. – Thank you Cellulitelooksbetterthantan & Meme & JohnnyID!

#3: Write 11 random facts about yourself.

#4: Nominate 11 bloggers who you feel deserve this award and who have less than 200 followers.

#5: Answer 11 questions posted by the presenter and ask your nominees 11 questions.

Ok, so that sounds easy enough no? Quite.

Here goes, buckle in, the rides about to start… if you need to puke there are no buckets supplied, use your shirt.

11 facts about me (that you probably wish you didn’t know…)

  1. I write, short stories, smut, stuff. Usually kinky. Oh yes.
  2. When I clean I usually like to listen to music. This can involve singing (off-key and very badly), dancing (usually dropping the vacuum to shake my booty) and generally behaving like a lunatic. Arm waving, head banging, whatever goes.
  3. I get wanderlust often. When I’m home, I’m dreaming about other places I can be. Actually I have an entire pintrest board dedicated to places I’d rather be than Sydney.
  4. I procrastinate like a pro. I should get an award for this. Like at the moment. I have about 50 million assessments overdue because I was busy getting drunk in America and being inappropriate with Loki when ever he’d let me and meeting some strange strange people…
  5. I suck at socialising. I’ve triple booked myself this Friday night. I’m meant to be at the pub getting drunk with some old buddies. I’m also due at my best friends house to play with their 6 cats and have dinner. And I’m also meant to be possibly meeting my mother. Yes I have an organiser. It’s a hello kitty one. I should use it more often.
  6. I have a weakness for sexy shoes. No, I hear you say. I know right? I have a wardrobe full of sexy shoes that I can’t wear out because well, they were never meant to hit the floor in the first place.  Wink wink, nudge nudge.
  7. I’m a teetotaler. At any given time I have about 10 different exotic and wonderful boxes of tea leaves that range from sweet, to bitter to iced tea variety. I have raspberry to drink when it’s that time of month (you know, to flush out the system a wee bit quicker, please don’t drink this if you’re pregnant. Cramping can induce miscarriage – also not to be drunk a lot as you don’t want this building up in your body. Please also be aware I’m not talking about the sweetened raspberry herbal crap you can get on the supermarket shelf.) I also have some great pina colada tea. It’s so delish! My favourite tea shop? T2! An addicts haven!
  8. I am a huge believer in being a greenie. I recycle, I use eco friendly products, I only resort to chemicals as the last resort to a lot of problems. Even my shampoo is all natural with no chemicals in it. Granted this is more because I’m afraid of my hair dresser than anything else. Little Japanese women yelling at you in another language does that to you when you go in to get your hair done.
  9. As much as I swear I hate adventuring I secretly love getting myself into situations that push my boundaries. From getting lost in the middle of the bush without water to spending 2 weeks hiking in the Australian desert. I love it. But I will bitch about it. Be warned.
  10. I type faster than I think. My mother, bless her, decided that because I dropped out of university after high school that I needed a “career” so sent me off to secretary school. Therefore, I type about 98 wpm. My brain has issues sometimes keeping up.
  11. I’m scent orientated. Things that smell good will bring me to my knees often. Just ask Loki.

And now for the questions from both lovely lasses!

Starting with Cellie:

  1.  Who is number one on your exemption list?  (An exemption list is a list of people who are not in your every day life (celebrities, authors, sports figures) who you’re allowed to sleep with should the opportunity arise…no pun intended snickering like a teenage boy)  Mine is Adrian Grenier.  No surprise there.  I have about 599 people on my list.

Alicia Moore. No, I kid you not. She’s oh. Yum.

  1.  What is your favorite smell and why?

The smell right after a summer thunderstorm. Earthy, wet, grassy, woody.. it makes my heart sing. 

  1.  What book can you read over and over again.  If you’re not into books, what movie never gets old?

Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Series. Robin Hobb’s Dragonship Series. The Parasole Confederate books. My favourite go to movie? Stardust or anything Tim Burton.

  1.  What is the story behind your blog name?

Once upon a time, many many years ago, I had a blog named Spankalishous. I decided that it was a good name. Plus I’m the first one to bend over for a spanking if anyone even whispers the word. What can I say? I love a good over the knee session.

  1.  What is your favorite song and why?

Oh gosh.  I have so many!! How do I choose? I love 1953 by Dropkick Murphys (actually I just love all their songs) I love (S)aint by Marilyn Manson, I’m a slut like you by Pink,  Oh there’s a few Catch 22 songs that make me dance and for relaxing I love my classical (Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi)… so many…

  1.  What is your least favorites song, the one that makes your put your fingers in your ears and say “lalalalala”?

Rap songs. No, they do, seriously.

  1.  What’s the best book you’ve read lately?  (I’m reading God Shaped Hole, and it is brilliant.)

A Stranger in a strange land – Loki recommended it to me and it’s taking me a while to read, however it opens up some interesting questions about society, etc.

  1.  What did the last text you sent say?  Word for word. (K does not count.  If “K” was your last text, then I want to know what your second to last text said.)

“Fucking give you hallway!! GRRR!!” – No, I won’t explain except to say that Loki has this nasty habit of enjoying making me loose my shit. So he says things to provoke me till I yell at him. I had to call him after that to yell at him in person. Text just wasn’t doing it for me.

  1.  What gives you the heebie jeebies?  It doesn’t have to be scary.  It can also be gross.  I hate nose hair.  That’s a heebie jeebie thing for me.

The whole swallowing snot thing that people do. Or even worse when they spit it out. Ohhhhh ewwwwwwwww!

  1.  Do close talkers bother you as much as they do me?  If so, why?

Yes. I have a bubble. Which is about a foot around me. Don’t break my bubble. I go from being nice and pleasant to bad body language and possibly hate hissing. I only like people I like in my bubble. Strangers, acquaintances and other assorted people need to back the hell up.

  1.  What are you wearing?  I’m not even kidding.

A dress. It’s 1950’s circa. With roses on it. It’s pretty. 

And from Meme

  1. Why do you blog?

Because it’s an outlet for me. I always have written. To expending energy, my thoughts, feelings. I’m a writing type of girl. My blog is a great outlet for that.

2. What is the weirdest thing you have ever done?

Define weird? All the weird stuff I’ve usually done hasn’t really been “weird” for me… but might for a straight non-kinky person? I mean, I’ve performed on stage at The Sydney Hellfire Club for years and years? But that wasn’t weird for me! Might be for other’s though. Not many people are comfortable getting their kit off and getting beaten in-front of an audience in a leather club.

3. What is your favorite color and why?

Purple, blue & red. I can’t just have one… those colours just call out to me.

4. How did you come up with the title for your blog?  Already answered this one up there ^^
5. What is your favorite blog?

I don’t know that I have a favourite. I love all the blogs I read!! I love reading all your words, you guys make me laugh and cry.

6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Beckley, West Virigina.

7. What is your dream job?

Doing marine research.

8. What would happen on the perfect day?

I’d spend it with the people I love. Fighting, laughing, cooking, cleaning, playing with bubs and generally being around each other.

9. Favorite music artist?

Pink. Dropkick Murphys. Marilyn Manson. Vivaldi. Lily Allen. Kylie. etcetc

10.What is your middle name? Do you like it?

I’ll let you in on a secret. I don’t have one!

11.Random fact about yourself?

I love long nails but always cut mine short.

Questions from JohnnyID:

1. Is your blog better than mine?  Don’t try to be objective, I want completely subjective.

Objective: Well I have boobs, you know, boobs are important. They jiggle. Therefore my blog is better just based on that.

Subjectively: I don’t think one is better than the other. I love reading your blog because it gives me an insight into the male brain which I don’t get a lot. Possibly because most of my friends as lesbians. But if you must really have one or the other. See above.

2. What is the most disgusting thing that you’ve ever seen… during sex?

Poop. Like it got on my fingers while I was getting busy down there once so I wiped it on his thigh because you know, I don’t stop mid blowie to say, Uh boyfie, you got shit on my fingers because you like me to finger your butt while I suck your cock… I finish the job then say it and snicker when he swears that I wiped it on his thigh instead of a towel. Dude, be grateful I didn’t stop what I was doing to be totally grossed out!!! (it also helps that I couldn’t breath so I wasn’t dry retching from the smell.. just his cock…) You can’t win with some men yanno! 

3. Can you properly use there, their, and they’re in a single sentence?

Once upon a time there used to be a girl who could totally tell the difference between there, their and they’re. 

4. Which 80′s band had the best sense of style?  And why? (minimum 100 words)

HAHAHAHA Madonna, with those cone cup bra’s!!! And her 80’s style… she’s not a band though. She could be. She has the presence of that many people all wrapped up in one. Let’s just say she’s a band.

5. Have you ever had an STI/STD?

Nope, clean bill of health. I’m a bit anal about sexual health to be honest. So it’s something that I’m always getting checked whether I’m in a relationship, sleeping with lots of people or not sleeping with anyone. Plus I think it’s pretty important for me to have health checks and screens because I do things like temporary piercings where I love making people bleed so I can finger paint… or rope where I might rope burn till it’s a bit weepy. Even during these I wear gloves, use alcohol wipes, etc to ensure my own safety… but still.

6. If you answered “Yes” to #5, have you ever had sex with me?


7. Do you have any coyote ugly stories?  Please share.

Oh jebus. In 2011 I went on a rampage across America. I spent quite a lot of time in Vegas. I was invited to what the locals call a “Santa Rampage” – early July. Suffice to say my friends that I made in Vegas made sure that I was drunk as hell and I have issues remembering anything past 11pm. However I do recall stealing someone’s elf to make out with her (I was polite, I asked her husband first!) and there was dancing on a bar. Watch this space. I haven’t yet written about it.

  1. Do you believe that Jim Henson is the fucking man?  Explain your answer in at least 100 words.

Uhhhhhhhhhhm. No. Not really. I mean don’t get me wrong, he made interesting muzak. But not the man. Just because I think there really isn’t a man per se. And if there is then I should be it. Just sayin’

Apparently I totally read this wrong and it’s meant to be Henson… not Hendrix. My mind changed things. And he’s still not the man. I mean he was pretty super don’t get me wrong. And I still think I should be the man. 

  1. Have you ever had sex while on any illegal substances?  If so, would you recommend I try it?

I spent my early 20’s in a drug haze. There was a lot of drugs. There was a lot of sex. It was interesting. Try fucking on drugs? Sure, just don’t ever expect to come though. For some reason you feel as good as, but you never seem to get where you want to be. It’s frustrating as hell! 

10. You’re all bloggers, which post that you’ve written is your favorite?

Just one? I like quite a few of them … like the one on my single life, Owning my inner slut, Happily Ever After? Fuck you Disney,  and quite a few others… 

11. If you answered “No” to #5 and #6, will you have sex with me for nominating you for this award? (Did anyone else notice that all the blogs I’ve nominated are written by women?  Coincidence?  I’ll let you decide.)

HAH! You’ll need to get approval from Loki before I can answer yes to this!

So I guess I need to nominate some people in here no? Ok, here goes.. not sure I know many people with less than 200!!

#1: Dudes & Shit

#2: Rosie – oh Rosie <3

#2: Bad Panda Diaries

#3: Nanodating

#4: Evie The Rabbit

#5: Hella Buzzed

#6: Life after Divorce

#7: Belle’s Brain

#8: Chapter TK

#9: Girl with a Pearl Necklace

The rest are over 200 followers, but well worth a mention because they are awesome… Aussa, Sean, Girlseule .. these guys make me laugh a bit, so I’m sure you’d enjoy them if you don’t already have them in your blog list.

And now for my 11 questions!! Horray!!

  1. If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?
  2. Favourite colour?
  3. What’s the most naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?
  4. Name one thing that you want to do at least once in your life.
  5. Does true love really exist?
  6. If you won $100,000 – what would you spend it on?
  7. What makes you relax?
  8. Who do you lust after?
  9. And if you could have them for 1 night what would be your perfect night with them?
  10. Who is your favourite author and why?
  11. In a zombie apocalypse, what is your exit & staying alive strategy?


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