BDSM,  Sexuality

Para-noir – I fuck you because I loved you

“para-noir,” which was meant to represent excessive darkness and the paranoia of trust – Marilyn Manson

I was listening to this song while working and the meaning of the song, why it was written and the responses made me think about the various reasons why I’ve fucked people.

You see, according to Manson – he had a huge amount of girls come through and he asked them why they would fuck him. Their responses are what makes this song. The chorus is his reply to them.

And I thought what a quaint idea. To make a post about the why’s of fucking.

I’d fuck you because you’re famous

Would you? Have you? Could you?

My answer… Possibly. Chemistry has always been a very big reason in whether I let someone get between my legs. Because they are famous doesn’t change the equation. I need chemistry. I need lust. I need something.

I’d fuck you for your money

No, I couldn’t… as much as I think I could be shallow enough, I’m not. The shallowest I’ve ever gotten was with one of my piercings. And I wanted it because I think it looks aesthetically pleasing to the eye with it in.

I’d fuck you to control you

I’m all for you having your own autonomy. Honestly. However I wouldn’t be adverse to you trying to control me. Oh no. Bring it. Because sometimes being controlled through a good fuck makes hot sex, turn into out of this world sex. Oh yes. Just don’t expect me not to fight back. But then, I love a good rough and tumble, don’t you?

I’d fuck you so someday I can have half of everything you own

Are there really women like this out there? This is scary. I’ve never fucked anyone to own anything. Let alone half of what they own. I’d feel so… dirty. And not the good kind of dirty. Because the good kind of dirty just makes me all hot and bothered. The bad kind of dirty makes me want to scrub the inside of my brain cavity with a scourer.

I’d fuck you to fuck you over

You know, now we’re getting somewhere. Because I’d say that there are totally some people I would happily do this to. Mainly my ex’s that have crossed me. Well well, maybe I can be vindictive when I want to be. I don’t think I could do it with anyone that’s new or I haven’t shagged before. I think it would take way too much effort and you know, for someone I’m not romantically interested in, that’s a lot of effort.

I’d fuck you until I found someone better

… then I’d fuck you in secret

Oi vey. I lament at the cruelty. I just don’t have the heart to do that to someone. Unless they were an agreed upon fuck buddy. Then you know, you’re allowed to because it’s just good sex and that’s what was agreed upon.

I guess in some warped and twisted way I could tie this back to the English guy I had a fling with. He wanted a relationship, I just wasn’t into him that way but I went along with it because it was easier than saying no – even the sex wasn’t that good but he was like a puppy that I couldn’t kick. My pity fuck took me somewhere I totally didn’t intend it to go. Which also explains why I don’t do them anymore. In trying to be nice, you’re effectively being mean.

I’d fuck you because I can’t remember if I’ve fucked you before

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Yes? Maybe? Possibly? How fucked up was I if I can’t remember? Considering I don’t recall most of my early 20’s because it was a very very big drug haze, this might happen.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh look, a bird.

tweet tweet

I’d fuck you out of boredom

Well. I have done. It was a good idea at the time. She was a hot gymnast. She wanted it, I wasn’t that into it but she was bendy. There’s something to be said about a bendy girl and fucking. My boredom went away really really quickly.

I’d fuck you because I can’t feel anything anyways

This line makes me sad.

No, really. Sad that people have sex because they can’t feel anything. That it’s akin to sitting on the couch and watching TV to them…

Sex to me makes me feel so many many things. The layers of fucking someone are what make it amazing. It’s like peeling an onion until you get to the rawness of them. The part that makes your eyes water and your mouth sting a bit. The part that draws you in and enthralls you. I could lose myself in that part of someone during sex.

It makes me super sad that there are people out there that don’t feel anything. Sad.

I’d fuck you to make the pain go away

Guilty.

So very guilty of this.

To replace the pain, the hurt, the infinite sadness that wells up and pours out of you with sex. Because sex makes you forget. It takes you to another plane, where there are unicorns and rainbows with pots of gold at the bottom and if you’re lucky there’s even a spanking bench with rope. Who needs pots of gold when you can be tied down and spanked within an inch of your life really?

Sometimes there’s nothing better than replacing the pain with the physical. I’ve come out with bite marks that have bled for a few days, bruise imprints of fingers around my neck, bruises on my inner thighs from where your fingers dug in so hard that I have reminders for weeks of you. The part of my scalp that feels like you’ve ripped a handful of hair out of because you were pulling it so hard that I cried and begged for more.

There’s this thing, it’s called a cathartic flogging. It’s where someone hits you with a whip, repeatedly. In the same rhythm. The same intensity. Within 15 minutes you’re crying your heart out. Not because it hurts, because it’s opened up that deep well that you keep bricked up. It’s letting your skeletons out of the closet. It’s freeing your inner demon and releasing yourself into the hands of the person who is hitting you. It’s giving yourself up, mind, body & soul and knowing that the person on the other end of the whip is catching you as you fall. It’s going into your abyss and being helped back out again.

Come to the edge, He said.

They said, we are afraid.

Come to the edge, He said.

They came.

He pushed them…and they flew.

I think some sex is like that. Like a cathartic flogging.

And if you are wondering what kind of song this is, here’s the video.

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