And being the curious little thing I clicked the link to read the article. Because you know, there’s never enough self-improvement available for one and who knows, I might learn something new.
Their first paragraph actually caught me. Because it’s something I believe sets a great foundation for your own relationship foundation. And that’s being ready for a relationship.
What does ready mean though?
For me, it means that I’m at a place in my life where I don’t need a relationship, I’m happy, I’m healthy and I’m enjoying my life. It means that I’ve got a balance worked out and that whether I share my journey or not, I’ll be ok and I know I’m ok.
Here’s the 10 points that the article makes:
Be as good as you can, as often as you can.
You’ll put someone else’s interests ahead of your own
You understand the importance of communication
You’ve got some semblance of a path in life
You can let the little things slide
You’re ready to accept someone as they are
You don’t look for someone to complete you
You are happy being single
Your ex is no longer a factor
You are ready to blend your life into someone else’s.
So then I sat there and thought about it. And thought some more.
And came to the conclusion that I’ve pretty much been applying these things to relationships for a while. Yet they’ve still disintegrated.
Don’t get me wrong, I think these 10 things are solid and definitely needed to make sure you’re ready for a relationship.
I think having a healthy and balanced relationship should be strived for. Co-dependency gives me shivers up the spine and makes me run hard and fast for the hills. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to spend time with my partner. It just means that I like having my time alone. To watch things, to make things, to read things, to do things.
For someone who would happily become agoraphobic I have a very active social life.
It’s not that I want to go out, I actually make myself leave the house because I know once I’m there I’ll have a good time. And if I’m not I usually come back home again. But at least I gave it a shot.
I think it’s important that we push our partners to have their own interests. Things that make them happy, keeps them active, gets them socialising… As much as I know I love being at home in my pj’s procrastinating, I also love my friends and spending time with them doing things that always end up in an adventure.
I think keeping up your social life, your home life and your other lives are pretty important outside and inside a relationship.
Plus I think there’s a definite air of confidence that comes with knowing yourself, being happy in yourself and pushing yourself to improve.