Personal

Displaced emotions

Do you ever cry over the fact that you don’t have disinfectant to mop the floors with?

This happened to me yesterday.

I cried over the fact that I couldn’t clean.

And not just a few tears, we’re talking outright sobbing.

Was I having a mental moment? Possibly, I believe so. But I think I was also having a moment where everything got too much and that burden you carry around every day just got too heavy and I got squashed.

Into a puddle of tears.

Reason number 1: I realised yesterday that for some reason I’m not going to be able to do my 3rd subject that I took on because they want me to be there this week.

Reason number 2: When I’m already going up on Sunday morning for a week to do my Chemistry and ecology for a whole week.

Reason number 3: Being that I barely have 3 days of leave saved up since getting back from holidays I was stretching myself thin to do the week as it was.

Reason number 4: Add onto the fact that I get back on Sunday and the court case starts the Monday after which also means that I won’t be at work and not getting paid… Stress on top of stress makes me an emotional wreck apparently.

Reason number 5: I was feeling about as lovable as a slug across the path while you’re walking barefoot due to recent relationship breakdown and subsequent feelings of inadequacy and/or disappointment that I wasn’t worth the effort.

So I cried over my mop bucket.

crying-girl-meme

And to make up for my hysteria at my world being totally uncontrollable I decided to take a holiday.

In November. To Tonga. Because that’s what you do when your world gets to hard right? Run away. You betcha. It always solves everything.

And not just running away anywhere either, it’s to another island. During whale migration season. That has lots of little islands and a king. A KING!

I hear they have paddle boarding. Since I have so much trouble walking straight I think I’ll ace this activity.

And I opened the invitation to anyone else who had an overwhelming urge to run away from all of their problems to bask in the sun, surf, insane activities and alcohol – applied liberally – to note the date in their diary’s. We’re going on a fucking holiday.

This, coupled with the funny goat video’s that one of my best friends kept plastering all over my facebook page made me get through the night without further meltdowns because we had also run out of paper towels in the kitchen.

Tonga.

geography-of-tonga0

Tonga-Island-Picture

It’s closer than Darwin yet in the Pacific. I do love my island sometimes.

16 Comments

  • tattoogirl

    I’ve never cried over cleaning products, but I have run away. To Amsterdam. On my (ex) husband’s dime. Oh, what a wonderful place to run away to. I feel your stress. I have a matrimonial court date on Tuesday and the ex is going to try and lower my maintenance & child support. I also have a bone marrow test on Thursday which will determine if my cancer is back. Oh, and a $1500 deductible on my new shitty insurance plan. Thanks for reading my ramblings… Tongs looks gorgeous and you freakin’ deserve it!!! Have fun!

    • Sharn

      Ahh, I think crying over cleaning products is the epitome of my life at the moment.

      Gee, sounds like you need a break too. Tonga is nice in November I hear πŸ˜‰

  • Expat Eye

    Every cloud and all that! Tonga looks amazing! I probably would have done a happy dance if I’d realised I didn’t have to clean after all – that’s part of my mental disorder πŸ˜‰

  • Julie Butler Chanteuse

    Sorry about your meltdown. I confess, I’m with Linda. I used to live housework when I get inspired. Now I find myself trying to get the cleaning buzz by inhaling MR. CLEAN. Doesn’t work.

    You deserve this Sharn! I’m so happy for you. And I love when you take a holiday! I began reading your blog when you were on holiday. Have a great adventure!!!

    • Sharn

      It’s ok, I think I was just having a rough day. I’m a bit better today at least! I present as a somewhat functioning adult.

      It was my turn to clean the house, the lack of disinfectant and paper towels were just the last thing I could take being wrong. Lol

      Thanks. I’m excited too. I have no idea what to expect and it’s intoxicating πŸ™‚

  • cellulitelooksbettertan

    That’s what always happens to me. I hold in the really important stuff and then lose my shit over something insignificant…like a mop bucket. I need to deal with stuff as it comes, but I’ve been crying over mop buckets my whole life. I don’t see myself changing any time soon. Sorry you have so much on your plate. That’s a lot. Things will slow down eventually, and you’ll be able to catch your breath.

    • Sharn

      I’m so glad I’m not the only one loosing her shit over mop buckets and the lack of paper towels in the kitchen.

      I don’t know how to deal with it all as it comes either. I just kind of bottle it up until it all just gets too much.

      And then I sit and cry over mop buckets.

      Thank you πŸ™‚

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