Dating

A friend-three-some? A pleasant blast from the past…

It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve been pretty sick and some guy messaged me on OKC.

He didn’t objectify me or make me want to stab him repeatedly in the eyeball with a rusty spoon. He looked vaguely familiar from his pictures and I couldn’t place him, I thought he looked like someone my old roomie had the hots for but I couldn’t be sure because I didn’t really spend that much time staring at his face – or any other part of his body when he used to come over. We spend time chatting outside while we smoked together and then I’d head in and do my thing and they’d do theirs.

So anyway, back to the story. This guy messages me. He’s smart, articulate and engaging. I’m sick, curious and vaguely interested if only because he’s not going for the kill and sexualising everything. So I message him back and give him a pat on the back for not being a jerk-off with the first few emails backwards and forwards.

Fast forward to today, I’m feeling a wee bit more human, my ovaries still feel like they are trying to chew their way out of my body but I’m functioning to a degree.

We go from OKC to Kik and he sends me a picture of himself cuddling with a cat. Said cat and him look even more familiar. I put it off to someone I must have a passing acquaintance with.

Then he asks me if I ever lived where I used to live a few suburbs away from where I am now. And like a jigsaw, all the puzzle pieces fit into place and I died laughing. No really, I did.

I say “Oh Em GEE!! You’re the guy whose hammock I wanted to pee in!!!” – cue hysterical laughter from both sides. Because I did. The only thing stopping me was that everyone was sitting on the ground down the hill from the stupid hammock during his house party that we totally crashed because we may have partaken in some illicit things that made us think walking up to his place was a good idea. Getting lost on the walk back home was the highlight of my night. But that’s another story…

You see, this man/child? He was my friend’s lust object and fuck buddy.

One night, in passing, I was rabidly horny and they were fooling around in her room. She knew that I wasn’t getting any at that point because I hadn’t cultivated a stash of fuck buddies that suited my tastes yet so told me to come in and avail myself of the man-flesh on offer.

And what hot-blooded girl in a state of spring-inspired hornballness would say no to that? Well, after checking she was totally ok with it because I didn’t want awkward for us at any point – especially considering she totally isn’t into girls at all. She was cool. So I jumped in.

Suffice to say we toyed with him, she gave him the blow job of his life while I rode his face and we high-fived and laid down while he, the ambidextrous man that he is, got us both off with a hand each. At which point after he came all over both our breasts, we couldn’t stop giggling at this however he enjoyed it so what the hey right? We went outside and cuddled on the couch a bit while we smoked. Not long after I got tired and said I was going to bed and left them to their thing.

So when the penny dropped, it dropped hard and I’m still laughing about it.

And he’s beside himself and wants round two because apparently he wanted a repeat performance because I tasted sweet and he loved my breasts but didn’t want to ask because he thought he would have been rude. Smart boy, he’s still pretty smart obviously – I didn’t tell him to sod off like everyone else that messaged me on OKC.

He couldn’t believe that I haven’t actually met anyone on there yet. I told him the dilemma of how men are stupid, he agreed and said that he thought I’d at least have weeded some out. I didn’t want to go into the thing about ex, break up, sexual mojo going the way of the dodo.

Being that he’s in a committed relationship to someone else might make him the ideal candidate to see if my sexuality is actually hiding or if I’ve broken myself. I told him that I’m no interested in a relationship, or a casual hook up. His partner is also on OKC so that kind of makes it nice and easy in a way. I want someone in my life but I don’t want them constantly there. I have so many other things I need to focus on, like my degree, working and friends/family. And he’s good with cuddles and attention. He’s good with his hands and tongue. And he used to be a good friend. So it would friends with benefits. Which sort of works I think.

I hope.

I know how he works. I know him rather well and he’s a sweet boy, if somewhat broken in his own way. But being that I don’t have to have a relationship with him means that I get all the good bits without having to invest in the bad bits right? Right.

And who knows, he might find my missing mojo.

Along with jebus.

Now if he can find the mojo then I can totally say yes to a date with this french lesbian that’s been chatting me up.

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