General

Dating fails #5391037

So the whole dating thing still isn’t going. Not a man in sight that I’d spend my time with over dinner or a coffee.

But here’s one that’s been making me cringe and I know y’all enjoy my seemingly idiot attracting magnet.

I did say no to him already but he is one of those special guys that keeps pushing in the hopes that I have a change of heart because he’s been harassing me and then I magically fall at his feet and offer myself for the taking because I’d been blind to his obvious wit and charm. Not.

Maybe I should have an auto response saved somewhere to send when a guy doesn’t understand I’m not interested – along the lines of:

Hello random man that won’t take no for an answer, I said not interested. Back the fuck up, bow the fuck out and take my answer as final. I’m not changing my mind. Ever.

Am so tired of jerks like this that I went and changed my profile to now include that I don’t want cis-gendered straight males who have no idea about alternative lifestyles to contact me. Here’s to hoping the quality improves. Doubt it though!

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As you can see I stopped feeding the stupid a while ago. Wondering when he’ll catch on.

Plus if I respond now it will be to loose my shit at him all over again. Fuck I hate being called endearments by people I don’t know. It’s my rage button.

Is that just me? Even shop assistants get told to not call me darl or sweetie or honey. It’s just so…. No. Ick.

And they usuallyΒ get firmly told that I’m not their “endearment”, I’m a paying customer who is a total stranger to them and I would appreciate them not trying to pretend like they’ve known me for 20 years and want to motorboat me.

I’m not anyone’s freaking honey, I’m here to buy a bloody shirt/skirt/dress/socks/whatever. Take my bloody money, give me my receipt and my item in a nice eco-friendly bag and let me leave the damn store!

Maybe this is old age setting in, being orinary. But it really does get on my goat. Obviously. Hah.

40 Comments

  • Ann St. Vincent

    Oh sweets πŸ˜‰

    No I get it too…have a post I will put up of a few examples of idiocy I’ve experienced…including a guy telling me I “seem fun” after literally I said about 4 words to him.

    It’s not easy but in the example you have above, he’s ridiculous. Thanks for the morning smile πŸ™‚

    • Sharn

      Yes but, sweets from you is ok, you’ve read about my dark and sordid past and present… this guy has a picture and my profile to go off. Plus he was straight, indicated on his questions that he thinks homosexual sex is wrong. That’s a huge no go for me, it’s as bad as someone having religion.

      You’re welcome Ann πŸ˜€ I am here to, afterall, help keep you guys entertained!! Plus, your ones keep me just as entertained πŸ˜‰

      I just don’t understand the thought process. Which bit of my not interested means please keep going, I’m totally interested in your trollop? It’s mind boggling!

      • Ann St. Vincent

        I don’t get it either…I know sometimes a guy has deleted the chat history when I don’t respond and then comes back with the same opener, probably thinking it’s the first time. That to me is hilarious because it just proves a) they use a shotgun approach, and b) they didn’t think I was all that memorable.

        • Sharn

          I honestly don’t think it has anything to do with us being memorable or not.

          I think it has to do with them finding the most amount of women they want to stick it in and sending out generic hello messages and hoping someone will bite.

          Usually I send them a reply saying how stupid a one word email is to someone they don’t know and if they want a response a better thought out email would work in their favour, as it is I won’t be responding again to any messages but thought they should be aware of what a stupid joke it was to send just a hello.

          Apparently that makes me a bitch! You just can’t educate some guys.

    • Sharn

      Haha not all of you Vic πŸ™‚

      I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some amazing souls!

      Talking of the devil. He just sent another email lol

  • ramblingg0at

    Some guys don’t get the women psyche – if someone is overly keen, it puts us off.
    I love that not only is he begging, but he’s not even spelling please right (‘plz’?! Are you serious?). It’s an immediate turnoff for me!

    Hopefully you find a better candidate soon! πŸ™‚

    • Sharn

      With the rate it’s going I don’t think I will!

      And yea, I already have the note on profile too to not message me if you can’t spell your words. But who reads profiles these days? πŸ˜‰

  • Warm Creme

    It is the shotgun approach – just fire a wide swath of scatter shot and see what drops. The sad part about this guy is that he clearly has had some “success” with his behavior. Someone out there has been desperate enough that they reinforced this method by responding positively to him. He hasn’t encountered someone who doesn’t suffer fools.

    I love quoting people and one that strikes me as perfectly applicable:

    “I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.” – Charlie Sheen

    • Sharn

      Yes yes yes! Perfect quote.

      And that you think someone reinforced this is scary πŸ™ I can’t understand why! It’s disgusting.

      I might steal that quote and send it to his latest round of disturbing emails.

      • Warm Creme

        I am embarrassed that he carries the same equipment as I. How do guys like this muster enough intellect to lift their fingers to type let alone draw a breath?

          • Warm Creme

            Oh the humanity!

            Yes, it is clear that someone out there reinforced this sub-species’ actions.

            The horror!

          • Sharn

            I had to block him.

            He just went on a rant about how my clothes mean I’m easy so therefore I had no right to say no to him. Mind you my pictures show me in dresses. Still, that’s beside the point.

            I feel a bit sick to my stomach.

          • Warm Creme

            Don’t own any of what this guy says. He is merely firing his parting shot to match his latest in a lengthy line of rejections. Feel good about how you managed yourself!

          • Sharn

            I know, logically I know.

            Internally however it’s enough to make me give up on the straight male species and only date bi men.

            He’s made me want to have a shower in bleach. And throw up. Possibly not in that order.

  • bethteliho

    I don’t know, Sharn, he seems kind of sweet and romantic.

    dies laughing juuuuuust kidding. Wow – can’t believe he won’t leave you alone when you’ve been very clear you’re not interested. But don’t worry, your whatever you like to call it is out there somewhere. You’re too damn smart and adorable; the right one will come along soon. πŸ™‚

  • Julie Butler Chanteuse

    It’s just so nuts out there. I have to confess, I’ve become one of those woken you detest. πŸ™ I just noticed it happening in the last couple years, occasionally using a term of endearment for a stranger under certain circumstances. I never thought I’d become one of those women, and I’m convinced it’s because of my age. Sorry darlin. πŸ˜‰ lol. Just kidding.

    what blow mind about online dating sites is, if a woman is “well endowed” they lose their minds, like a busted navigation system, they just wander aimlessly, but making any sense at all. Poor things…;)

    Case in point, I had a guy, (who I had gone out with) check me out and send me an email. I was stunned. Really? We had words. He replied, apologizing, saying he never even looked at my face. He just saw my chest and emailed me without thinking.

    • Sharn

      I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find terms of endearment from relative strangers condescending. I don’t know what it is, it just makes me prickly. Unless it’s from a little old woman in a walking frame or something.

      I’m sure they do, but I just don’t have the patience for the sheer amount of idiot I get faced with. One guy last night even admitted he didn’t even read my profile. So I told him to sod off. Honestly, I’m not going to answer questions you’re asking that are on my profile because your a lazy piece of trash. Ugh.

      Well I’ve put in the disclaimer now that I don’t want straight cis-men contacting me. Let’s see how that plays out.

      • Julie Butler Chanteuse

        I hear you. For me, it has a lot to do with tone. It often comes off as condescending. Having been in involved with theatre most of my life, some of those terms become part of your vernacular, usually in jest.

        I had to google “cis”. πŸ™‚ Never heard it before.

        • Sharn

          Yeah I think it does come down to tone, from strangers it’s just .. ick.

          Oh I’m sorry, I keep forgetting that not everyone is up with the lingo. I guess it’s more common in the gay world than the straight.

  • vagabondurges

    Oh dear. If only I’d known, back in my most-frustrated days, that my ability to use full words of the English language would put me a step ahead… Anyone who says “plz” should be beaten with a dictionary. (But not if they like it.)

    • Sharn

      Oh dear was an understatement of what I ended up saying.

      I hear you on the spelling, it’s a pet hate of mine yet no guys seem to read my profile… They just look at the pictures. As by their own admission.

      I was more angling for the sand in a sock dunked in some water yanno πŸ˜‰

  • maurnas

    You are so awesome as always. Have you seen that site http://straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com/
    I think this guys needs to go on there. And I have a method for dealing with this in public and via texts. I never respond in any way in texts and they will eventually move on. But when I am out, and let’s say some dumbass wants to buy me a drink. I, very politely, say no thank you. If he is anything but gracious about it, I flip my shit. For example Him: “Aww. Come on. It’s just one drink. Are you sure you don’t want one?” Me: “I said fucking no, motherfucker! Why is that so hard to understand? I don’t want a drink! Fuck off!” And they ALWAYS fuck off. Because I hate having my no ignored, even for a drink. Sorry for the long response. I always feel so passionately about these things.

    • Sharn

      I’m with you!

      And I welcome long responses, don’t apologise πŸ™‚

      Yes, I follow that tumblr because I find it amusing mostly. Maybe I should upload it there. But honestly it’s just too hard!

      I get the same when I’m being cornered to do something I don’t want to do. I loose it. I actually called this guy rape culture personified because of his lack of understanding of the word no.

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