Dating to FWB Contention – the petri dish experiments
22nd October 2014
Being that I already have a profile on OKC – I thought it was fair to adjust it to that it outlined exactly what I was after.
Which isn’t a boyfriend. Or a partner or a full-time lover. I changed to state that I want a FWB type arrangement with someone who is kinky, not heteronormative and open. I want someone who I can cuddle up to a night or two a week, shag, talk, go to dinner, etc and then have the rest of the week as my own.
I suddenly got an influx of even more mail, from children as young as 19 when I clearly have on my profile that I don’t want anyone contacting me that isn’t above 30. My previous post about the perils of internet dating had me screaming that I was going to ignore emails from people who just didn’t fit my requirements. And I have stuck to that. Which leads me to wonder why these guys even bother? I can only assume that they don’t read my profile. I don’t beat about the bush on my list of requirements so I don’t understand how they can seem to confused and surprised when I say no to the ones I do write back to.
There was one who was slightly interesting, only because he was furry, tall, tattooed and wasn’t a local. But then he said he’s only here for a few more months which basically I said no to because I don’t want a few months. I want someone longer term who can tick the boxes and be around for a while since I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere for a while so that we have a mutual benefit arrangement and I don’t have to go through this nightmare again.
Suffice to say the bombardment hasn’t gotten any easier. I just ignore a lot more mails now than before and that makes it somewhat easy.
My other gripe is that I do have options, however these options have been compromised.
What the fuck am I on about? Let me explain. The kinky scene in Sydney is so tiny that everyone knows one another and most of them are in open relationships which means they’ve literally already fucked each other too. Which really isn’t that much of a problem, it just means that I don’t want to sleep with them. Which limits my pool considerably because I have this squick that I get from the petri dish-esque sharing.
Do I have a problem with sharing? Hell no, I just don’t want to dive into the pool of … well.. shared-ness. Which is why I look outside of the scene. It’s why I stretch myself out to find people who haven’t been shared around like an apple pie with everyone I know. I don’t want to compare notes on people, or find out their sexual quirks from my friends and acquaintances. It’s just not my thing.
So when I mentioned the guy that had found me on OKC that I’d had the previous threesome with to my housemate, she immediately found him and messaged him on OKC. The problem being that now that she’s gone there, I can’t go there with him. It effectively rules him out as a FWB.
Am I being fussy? Am I the only one that gets squicked out by this interconnectedness?
In the meantime I’m focusing on my fussy self instead.