I realise lately that I’ve done a lot of introspective posts about my feelings and thoughts, so I thought I’d mix it up a bit and write about some of my favourite activities…
My first ever spanking session went for just over an hour and a bit, about 12 years ago now.
So my friends tell me. I can’t remember most of the pain, all I remember is how it smarted, I remember thinking that I possibly couldn’t take any more as I was pushing through another pain barrier and the intensity started up all over again, it made me wiggle and giggle, it made me squirm and finally it made me fly. The lady who gave me said spanking is still one of my very good friends and her hands will always be some that I remember with delight.
So let’s go into the exquisite art of spanking. Because there is you know, it’s not just walloping for wallopings sake.
There’s a spanking sweet spot for me, just like the caning sweet spot. Except the caning sweet spot is in that sweet sweet fold of skin where your butt cheeks meet the top of your thighs and when you bend over and get caned right there it also catches your labia and you feel that burn through your body as your breath catches and you ride the waves of intense white-hot pain. But this isn’t my post about caning.
Let’s get back to the spankening fun times.
Spanking also has fine points. There are areas you want to avoid and areas that will give your hand and the spankee the best of times. There are areas you can go to where they will push your spankee’s pain tolerance and the sweet spots that will make them moan and wiggle in a good way. It’s important to know which areas do what because depending on what kind of top you are, you may feel like giving them a good time with some slight evil included or you may want to make them cry for you. Either way, you’re covering all the bases by learning which areas do what and go from there.
I went to a few workshops on the art of spanking by a lady who works in the UK – she offers spanking as her only repertoire for her clients. Or her bottom as a spankee. I think this is a job I would highly enjoy, if I could find a market for it here.
The area in the above diagram calls for 70-80% of spanking to be done in that area, and I agree. I think it’s the spots that will have your bottom soaring with the right hits. Don’t forget that if you cup your hand, the pain will be different as will the sound. If you spank open-handed the dispersal of pain again, is more spread and sometimes more intense depending on how bony your fingers are. You can have a closed fingered spanking hand which will again, give a slight variation on the sound and feel of the spank. For extended spanking sessions I tend to alternate from loose hand to closed fingered. And never forget that you are going to have your hand smart as much as their bottom.
Some tops I’ve played with have used leather gloves to extend the spanking a bit longer before your hand gives out. Other’s use other implements. I was lucky enough to have an old partner use vampire gloves on me. What are vampire gloves? Here’s a picture of mine…
Well they weren’t mine per se, but after my ex used them on my arse and I bled all over them, they kind of became my own. He found that spanking me with these and then using alcohol wipes on my arse made me scream really nicely. I hated it. I could have taken an extra 50 more hits with the glove than those stupid alcohol wipes, but then, the more I play with people, the more I find that they enjoy making me endure things that I don’t always like. And to be honest, I love that they do this. It means I get to experience things that normally I’d back out of and run given half the chance. Who said being a masochist was easy?
Oh my, I got sidetracked again.
Now I’m not sure what kind of spanking these people have got with the hand, but honestly, I had a black arse from just a hand spanking before. Black and bruised all over. I remember every time I drove over a speed hump in the car I’d giggle with the reminder. It hurt in such a good way. But obviously, this is a great guideline for people who aren’t very sadistic nor have a very masochist bottom. I find that when one plays with a true sadist, all bets are off about the marks you walk away with unless otherwise negotiated that there is to be no marking. But then where’s the fun if I can’t see or feel those pretty bruises?
There’s quite a few implements you can use to spank someone, my preference is hand and over the knee, only because it’s a nicer connection with your top or bottom. But that’s my personal preference. Obviously you can use paddles, crops, canes, wooden spoons, spatulas… there’s a whole host of horrible hurting implements in the kitchen draw I bet you had no idea about!
I’ve had a few wooden spoons broken on my arse, but nothing quite gets me going like good skin to skin contact. Experimenting with different items is half the fun, but sometimes you can’t go pass the classics.
Now obviously anything prolonged in the same area is going to start marking. Usually with hands the most damage you can do is have some welts raised, unless you are wearing jewellery. Which I suggest you take off before you start spanking someone, unless you and the bottom are happy with cuts to the skin that will bleed. For those that do not want marks this is not a good thing.
Obviously other implements will add an element of marking that may or may not break the skin. Caning will definitely break the skin after a while. I’ve been spanked soundly by a quirt, which didn’t break the skin, but did leave raised marks where it bit my skin rather hard and blood blisters. Again, these were rather fun to poke during the week.
But never forget that after all spanking, your bottom will need time to come down, as will you.
Some bottoms, like me won’t be big on the aftercare for a lot of play – the harder it is the more care I’ll need afterwards, however there are a lot more out there that do and it’s important for you and them to take care of yourselves afterwards because the putting back together is as important as the deconstructing.
Never forget to check with your bottom what their favoured aftercare method is.
But most of all, enjoy that smarting bottom and the joys that come with spanking!
I am long overdue one I think.
*** Side note: As with all things BDSM I figured I didn’t need to include in here the things that you should be doing before and after – the negotiation or the discussions. Obviously communication, honest, clear and concise communication is a huge thing. Use it. As a bottom you are allowed to raise concerns, before the scene, during the scene and after the scene. Use your words, if you aren’t feeling it make it stop. For not making it stop will cause you damage. Believe me on this. You are allowed to change your mind mid scene. You are allowed to change your mind prior to the scene or hell, even near the end. Do not just “take it” because you feel like you will be a bad submissive. You will be a worse one if you don’t communicate to your top that you’re in a bad place for they will lose trust in your judgement of yourself. They don’t want to hurt you in a bad way and would rather know if you are not enjoying something, remember that. This is meant to be fun.