Personal,  Relationships

The beginnings of something different – Part 2

Thanks for not riding my sick arse about updating this thing you lot. I’m still feeling rather ill, but as long as I don’t talk or swallow my throat feels fine!

Back to the story though, Part 1 ended with me watching Cern’s cute arse walk into my bedroom down the hallway…


No seriously, I’m not a butt kinda gal, but I do love to appreciate a nice arse. They make me want to reach out and touch them. Which I do often if there’s one wiggling in front of me, beside me or anywhere in hand-span vicinity.

Er, getting away from nice arses on men and moving on with the story… I’m so easily distracted, I’m going to blame the horny.

So we walk into my bedroom and he throws his things down, I am still in my bikini from the beach we just drove back from and am covered in salt and feel about as good. I tell him that I honestly really need a shower ASAP before anything and before I could finish my sentence he grabs me, apologised for making the wrong decision and pulls me in for a kiss. Now, to get one thing straight, this man’s kisses make my brain fall out. Every.Single.Time. It’s like that voice he uses in my ear to whisper naughty things, actually let’s revise the whole thing, it’s like he has a direct line to my horny button and pushes it repeatedly like an impatient child waiting for a lift at which point my body sparks out and he’s now controlling my puppet strings while my mind screams “What the fuck is happening?!”. Damn you traitorous body.

Uh, so we kiss, my legs give out at the ferocity of him devouring me and he catches me without fail. I’m pretty sure when he pulled away my eyes may have been glazed over.

He apologised again for making the wrong call the night before and not being with me instead. I wanted to say a lot of things, but these things wouldn’t have been conducive to the discussion. So I said the truth. I was and still am disappointed that I didn’t get to see in the new year with him. Logically I understand why, emotionally it’s still raw.  He sat down on my bed and proceeded to explain what he was thinking and why. What revelations had come to him during his drive away from my house the evening before.

In the short amount of time we’ve known each other, as much as I let him past my walls and into some of the deepest parts of myself, he said I’d somehow wormed my way past his defences. I apologised for wiggling in, I don’t like going places I’m not welcome after all, he shushed me and told me that I’m being a dill. Who knew? As he was talking I drifted closer and closer to him as he sat propped up against my bed-head with his legs out. And somehow I ended up straddling him as we talked.

He looked pained as he was talking and being a bleeding heart I needed to touch him, stroke him, feel him to let him know I’m ok and he’s ok.

We discussed a lot of things that evening. But the basics that we reached agreement on was that we wanted each other in our lives. That we were starting to get emotionally invested and that we were both ok with this. He mentioned that he was going to start pulling away from his other commitments that he had some emotional investment in as he didn’t see any future with either of them. I felt bad that I seemed to be the catalyst to ending his dalliances with others and told him so, he negated my fears by telling me that it wasn’t me that was making this choice for him, that it was his choice to make. And he has a point, this was his decision. He said he eventually wanted to focus on us and to be honest, my heart sort of sang at that.  What I got from all our talk is that he doesn’t want to lose me and he felt that he was or he was going to if things kept going the way they were. Smart boy.

We didn’t talk about being exclusive – so other’s are still involved just not on a deep and meaningful level. More-so for him than me at this point. If only because I’m honestly just not interested in a lot of people. It takes a special something to make me sit up and take note. And those don’t happen every day. Does it bother me? Sometimes yes, other times no. Some days I wonder why he wants to be with me when there’s younger better models out there… and some days I wonder if I’m not enough but then remember that no one is ever everything to anyone. I know this better than anyone, I’ve experienced it, I’ve lived it and breathed it. So it’s a jumble of emotions that I work through daily and sometimes I win the battle, other days I don’t win that much.

I guess for me it meant that I needed to re-evaluate where I stood with him. He asked me what I wanted and I may have looked like a dear startled in the headlights at him. What do I want?

Obviously I couldn’t say world peace, although to be fair the thought did go through my mind. Instead I asked him if I could have a rain check because I need to think about everything we’ve talked about and how this changes what I thought was going to happen.

As we touched, kissed, talked and kissed some more I started to taste the salty goodness that reminded me I needed to shower. I apologised for salting at him and climbed off so I could get naked and wet. He joined me. We continued talking underwater too.

The more we talked the more I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I guess subconsciously I let the flood gates open. We were going on this ride damn it.

And here we stand. Him and me.

Where does it all go? We don’t know yet. All we know and have agreed to is that we mean something to each other and that is what matters. That we keep that going and keep each other a priority even if we shag anyone else.

We may have spent the rest of the having some pretty spectacular sex. However I don’t think we’ve not had spectacular sex before. Either way, it was awesome.

So here we go… grab a cuppa, a blankie and tuck in. We’re going on a ride!


Don’t forget to send me any Kinky Q & A questions you may have at or through my contact me page! No question is too silly and if you want to remain anonymous just let me know.


        • Sharn

          I know, it’s all a bit surreal for me to be honest. I’ve not really had this kind of interest from a man before in regards to keeping me. Well, I guess they’ve all said it but then acted the opposite. I think it’s why I find a lot of things difficult but I just need to keep reminding myself that I need to believe what he says.

          Well, no, it’s not just men… but he was the one walking in front of me at the time 😉 You just want that spanking early miss, you can wait till your birthday 😛

          • ramblingg0at

            But I’m impatient! 🙁

            I can understand the apprehension and doubt and I know its easier said than done but we should try and live in the moment and not worry about what could happen 🙂

            The thing is, you’re bloody awesome and don’t your forget it! People make up their own minds and decide if they feel they want to ‘keep’ us or not, its not really something we can control. So if he says it, then do a happy dance and enjoy it! If he ends up changing his mind like the others well it’s his loss! I’ll always be your little cheerleader on the sidelines cracking jokes and mooning you to keep you smiling 🙂

            But for now I’m spelling out C-E-R-N with my pom poms ROFL!!

            Congrats on finding yourself a good one hunnybun!! Xx

          • Sharn

            Hehehehe I know, I don’t have the word patience in my vocabulary myself 😛 It’s ok, I’m sure I could slowly warm your butt up over the next month!

            Well, it’s not that I’m worried about what could happen, more so worried that I’m just not good enough. What could happen is it either ends in a flaming ball of mess or it fly’s like I think it’s going to… Like the chubby unicorns we killed in Diablo 3 the other night together while he was disturbed and I squealed with glee.

            Yes they do decide themselves if they want to keep us or not. It’s just hard turning off all the other stuff that keeps me insecure in myself and what I offer though. It’s ok, I’ll work through it 🙂

            Thank you sweetie. I think he’s a pretty awesome one, yeah. But like I said to him, I might be a bit biased…

            <3 xx

          • ramblingg0at

            Whatever happens happens!

            Don’t spend your days worrying about what could happen, its a waste of your precious time and energy. Just deal with the shitty stuff when/if it happens. No point putting yourself through stress when shock, horror, maybe it all works out and there was absolutely no need to stress! 🙂

            Want me to throw you some pom poms and a mini skirt so you can spell out C-E-R-N with me?? No underwear allowed of course! Bahahaha oh gosh, I’ve got my deviant hat on today 😀

          • Sharn

            I’m not worrying about what could happen 🙂

            My worrying has nothing to do with what could happen, trust me on that!

            I have a cheerleaders outfit 😛 It was meant to come with underwear? O.o

    • Sharn

      Thank you so much, you’re a sweetie!!

      And I am glad I let him in too. You’re so right, I think things develop when you least expect them to and to be open to things in a way that let’s them happen is just as important.

      It’s warm fuzzy making all around 🙂

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